Apologize and accept apologize.
اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُم (As-salāmu ʿalaykum, “May Allah's peace be upon you”).
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Bismi-llāhi r-raḥmāni r-raḥīm
(In the name of Allah, Most Gracious,Most Merciful)
Al-ḥamdu lillāh ( الحَمْد لله) "All praise be to God"
During the Pre-Islamic days of Ignorance, the one who was treacherous, proud, and dishonest was considered as strong and respected out of fear . But revelation through the Al-Qur’an and Sunnah teach us the real fact. The Prophet (sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) didn’t just win battles, but the hearts as well. He was known for his gentle nature and kindness, even to the ignorant and ill-mannered. People took their shahadah and entered Islam just by experiencing his humble, gracious, honest, and courteous mannerism .There are so many examples in the seerah, I couldn't possibly do justice by delving into them here but encourage you to examine them. Through his behavior, he displayed the true and distinguished identity of a Muslim as desired by Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala).
Unfortunately, with the passage of time many Muslims have forgotten to practice the manners taught by our religion. We have forgotten the teachings of Al-Quran and Al-hadith and instead let our egos to rule us. If one wish to live this life as a pious Muslim, then one should always try to recall the teachings of our Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam),
Shaytan, the greatest enemy will play all the tricks to stop one from saying sorry. One might experience the following thought pattern:" Oh come on! Why should I be sorry? It wasn’t a big deal! I can’t say sorry, my fault wasn’t that much big.Everyone makes mistakes, it was so-and-so’s fault and that person must apologize first. Oh! It’s so embarrassing to be apologetic. So what if I did wrong! People make mistake, it doesn’t mean I must degrade myself by apologizing in front of her/him”.
To own a mistake and apologize is as great virtue as accepting an apology. Both are equally difficult but rewarding for the Muslim. Seeking apology or saying sorry is one of the greatest hard jobs of world. It’s a human psychology, it never accepts inferiority. Same is the case with accepting apology, as taking revenge is also one of major intrinsic habits of a human being.
There are a very few of human kinds, who are generous and kind-hearted enough to say and accept sorry readily. That’s why Islam emphasizes on both of them. ALLAH subhana hu wa tala likes people who repent willingly and who are forgiving.
Often people are reluctant to apologize out of ego or hesitation, even though they know their mistake. And even worse case is when one is not even ready to accept his/her mistake. Such wrong attitudes are reason of sour relationships. We can’t have healthy relationships if we don’t learn how to handle mishaps and humbly ask for forgiveness. Islam greatly stresses upon essence of apology. It not only emphasizes verbally but we do find such practical examples at many places. One of the example is , when the brothers of prophet Yusuf (Joseph) apologized to their father prophet Yaqoob , saying that “oh our father, seek refuge for us, for verily we are in the wrong”.
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| Some steps to apologize: |
1. If one has wronged or oppressed someone ,then one should turn to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala and ask for forgiveness.
“Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Garden whose width is that (of the whole) of the heavens and of the earth, prepared for the righteous. Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men, for Allah loves those who do good.” (3:133-134)
2. Pushing aside one's ego: One should have to remove any pride and be humble to apologize genuinely . This shows the value to relationship in one's heart.
“It is not lawful for a Muslim to desert (stop talking to) his brother beyond three nights, the one turning one way and the other turning to the other way when they meet, the better of the two is one who is the first to greet the other.” [Bukhari]“Pardon them and overlook – Allah loves those who do good” (Qur’an 5:13)
3. Admit to your shortcomings and take responsibility: Don’t sound insincere or cold. Muttering “I apologise” or a stern “sorry…” under your breath isn’t very genuine; be sincere and mean what you say – ‘I’m so sorry, [insert person’s name]’ sounds better, doesn’t it?
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Just saying the word sorry isn't’ enough. Apology basically has 3 parts.
1) Say sorry.
2) Accept your mistake / fault.
3) What should you do in return to fulfill the loss.
All of the three parts are compulsory, and your apology is incomplete if you miss any one of it. Mostly people miss the third part. Few of us do say sorry, and do accept mistake but forget to fix the trouble.
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4. If the situation calls for it, talk it out and explain what happened. Try to restore their trust and confidence in you.
5. Show you care by asking the other person what could be done to amend it.
6. Learn a lesson from this incident. Set your morals and correct your behaviour. Our interactions with people are also a part of our deen, and our character will weigh heavily on the Day of Judgment. It is reported that Muadh ibn Jabal said, “The last advice the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, gave me when I put my foot in the stirrup was that he said, ‘Make your character good for the people, Muadh ibn Jabal!’”
“Fear Allah wherever you may be; follow up an evil deed with a good one which will wipe (the former) out , and behave good-naturedly towards people.” [At-Tirmidhi]
Taking responsibility for our wrongdoings or mistakes is a sign of strength, humility, and wisdom – and at the end of the day, it’s just the basics of good manners, which are what every pious Muslim should strive for.
We may get hurt or someone may displease us and towards such conditions,one's habitual attitude is harboring hatred and anger against that particular person. This has too many negative spiritual, moral and health effects. Following the sunnah of Prophet Mohammad ( sallalla hu ali’hi wassallam) our approach should be positive. We must develop habit of forgiving gladly and voluntarily. Especially if someone is asking for forgiveness and is sorry about his/her act,the other must never refuse to accept apology. Remembering oneself that forgiveness is one of the greatest attributes of our magnificent creator ALLAH, He want to see reflection of this attribute in his human slaves too. Hence one must forgive, even if the other person is not sorry just to pleases ALLAH and also get relief from unnecessary mental stress.
“Those who control their anger and are forgiving towards people; Allah loves the good.” (Qur’an, 3: 134)
See the beautiful verse! What we get in reward of pardoning and forgiving people from ALLAH subhana hu wa tala! Along with other worldly benefits, one attains love of ALLAH. You get love of Lord of Lords in return of letting the hatred and anger go of your heart. Isn’t it an awesome deal?
In other words, it’s a trade of love, with ALLAH and people also !
Jazak Allahu khairan for reading!
In other words, it’s a trade of love, with ALLAH and people also !
Jazak Allahu khairan for reading!
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